It is quite shocking to me that my last post was in may. May! That is more then half a year. Before that when I went weeks without posting, I've been thinking of posting but didn't manage becasue of time, life, well countless reasons. But I always thought about it. This journal was my happy place. The place where I share things and also deal with stuff.

But I think with the decrease of activity in general, my enthusiasm also waned. So many people who I admired and/or were close with left that it just doesn't feel like the same safe space and I feel that I don't know many of the new people as well as those that have left.

I do realize that is my own doing. I have not been cultivating relationships here. It might have to do with not having something I'm really fannish about. And I also realize that filling this place up with stories and images is what does create a home.

I also noticed that just reading and listening to english stuff and not writing things on my own has lead to my english deteriorating and I don't like that.