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elli
elli
10 August 2005 @ 01:02 am
*grumble*  
I did a bit of unfriending, cos I cannot keep up at all. Basically I cut people who have no entries, have no interests, haven't updated since last year and people who I have hardly and connection with.

I wasn`t as thorough as I would like to be, but I really had a hard time kicking off people. A very hard time. Just as I have a hard time not adding all the peeps who have friended me lately. I'm not sure what to do about it really, but I don't think it's a good sign if I constantly mix up the people on my flist or wonder who they are. My memory is srikingly bad and I don't think I'd do you guys justice. You deserve more.

As such, the fandom related posts as the art related posts are public. Most my posts are public anyways, cos I forget to lock them. To anyone who did friend me... it means a lot, really a lot..that you are interested in being here and even if I don't friend you back..I will check on your ljs on occasion and comment.

Anyways, I won't be on lj as much as usually until I haven't finished this webpage project I'm working on... I'm cursing the fact that I wanted to make it xml valid...grrr... but alas.. it will be worth it.

Happy belated birthday [livejournal.com profile] phoiniks and my chica [livejournal.com profile] subaia. I wish you the BEEEST!!!!

ps: look at my kickass new Ron icon! oh..and I will reply to emails..swear..just that stupid webpage is taking me loads longer than I thought.
 
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[identity profile] elli.livejournal.com on August 10th, 2005 09:18 pm (UTC)
*hugz*

I totally understand where you're coming from. The thing is, hiding out because you are scared what other people think of you is totally the wrong thing. Cos it will only make you more fucked up cos you cannto learnt o deal with people. You need to face your faults and worik on them, but you can only work on them by engaging in relationships.

I, for instance, am very self-absorbed. It doesn't show so much cos I fight the urge like crazy. But sometimes in conversation I get side-tracked, I interrupt people loads when I have ideas. But I don't do it on purpose.

I got into the internet when I was 16. I think the internet can be really dangerous. Fandom and fanfiction, for ages, was my escape. My sort of refugee. I don't regret it, but it isn't healthy. I guess I'm lucky my Dad forced me to go out. Seriously. I think the fact that your family isn't so supportive of you is sad. I mean, I don't know about your circumstances, but I do know that belitteling interests because one doesn't understand or doesn't like them is wrong. I mean, my Dad teased my all-right, but he never told me it is wrong to do it. It's just an interest, or an opinion.

And it isn't selfish to read journals and enjoy them. I did it for years, believe me. It is just that I think the reason for not participating shouln't be the fact that you think people might not like you.

And you should delete your lj if it is somethign you enjoy. cos that is primarily what fic and lj is there for.to enjoy it. Just tell yourself. you are not deficient cos you like other things, just like agay person isn't somehow bilogically wrong or deficiant for being gay. It's all variety and that's the way it is supposed to be.

And yes, you are NOT alone :)