SV ficlet: Confined

[elli]

Coda to Bound.
It's my way of dealing. *g*

Thanks to fromward for the wonderful beta.

Clark, and Clex implied. Rated PG-13.



Confined

Sometimes he just wishes he could fight his genes. Pride is such an evil thing. It’s making him pace around his room like a caged animal. And this room, it's so small. It’s getting tiny and tinier, the walls closing in on him.

*Breathe, Clark.*

He tries telling himself, ordering himself, but he can't stop. Tears are streaming down his face and he's shaking, slowly sliding down the wall, his knees moving up to meet his chin.

*Just get up and go there.*

He's angry. Too angry to even move. Ashamed. Too ashamed to apologize. But most of all, he's too scared. Too scared of the implications of what he's feeling.

*Just get up.*

The door opens with a creak. "Clark? Are you alright?"

"Just leave me alone, mom," he mumbles and draws in a shuddered breath.

"Clark, you're crying. There's obviously something wrong."

"Just leave, please."

But she doesn't. Far from it. Martha Kent enters the room and sits down right next to him. How she can actually find a space in this small room is beyond him.

She reaches out.

He moves away from her touch.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"This anger, it's a Kryptonian thing right?"

"What are you talking about?" she reaches out again.

"Don't touch me, please."

"Clark..."

"I did something. And I don't think I can fix it."

"What happened?"

"It's ..." He stops to compose himself, stiffening. "I didn't even listen to him, or hear him. I just realized what he actually said."

"Is it Lex?" Martha tries.

"He never told me about all these women. It hurt. And I was …"

Martha is the one who says it. "Jealous."

"He said he's lonely, so lonely that he thinks of killing himself."

"Oh, Clark." This time, his mom wraps her arms around him and he lets it happen.

"I didn't listen. I just left!"

"You can still go to him and apologize. You can mend things. I think he's worthy of your trust and love," she says.

He shakes his head. "I can't."

"Don't worry, Clark, it will all seem better tomorrow." With that, his mother gets up and leaves the room. She probably knows there's not much use in trying to interfere more now.

The tears have disippated by now, but the numbness remains. He wishes he could make that first step.

So alone. He knows what it feels like.

Comments

[justabi.livejournal.com]

Poor boys.

[elli.livejournal.com]

Yeah..I can't write happy no matter how hard I try.
thx!

[justabi.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel.

[elli.livejournal.com]

*snuggles* you too?

[elli.livejournal.com]

Thank you..... and I knowwwwww.

[akacat]

Good start! So, where's part two where he apologized profusely and they hug and make up? {g}

[elli.livejournal.com]

lol.... you are so evil!!! I'm not able to write long stuff...so maybe. maye.

[logovo.livejournal.com]

Ah! This was just right. Clark - so clueless.

[elli.livejournal.com]

Is just a BDA. *kickshim*

[lapetite-kiki.livejournal.com]

Arrgg, well done!

[elli.livejournal.com]

Thank you :/
you icon fits so scarily.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Okay, more sadness-- I'm going to bed. Wake me up tomorrow?
(I did like it, just...sad.)

[elli.livejournal.com]

Sooooorry..I hope you didn't sleep badly becasue of me.
*Smooch*

[thamiris.livejournal.com]

This is so delicately touching, hon. I could just picture Clark going through this on the show, the too-late realization of what Lex's words meant, that inability to do something because he's so wrapped up in his hurt and the hurt he's caused...Wah!

It's a perfect coda to "Bound."

[elli.livejournal.com]

I was just trying to understand him a bit. I still don't really, but a little more.

And queee...tham gave me feedback :) *wibbles*

[cheights.livejournal.com]

Ah, this hurts, they're both so heartbreakingly alone. But in a way it's good to see Clark hurting and having a realization of what Lex admitted to him because nothing can change if Clark isn't willing to admit he didn't handle the situation so well. But it's so sad, and very Clark, for him to remain there trapped in the blame and hurt.

Well done coda.

[elli.livejournal.com]

he will never reach anything if he doesn't make a step in the right direction.

Thaks!"

[aisling12.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwwwwwwww
That was perfect

[elli.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Means a lot :)

[in-the-bottle.livejournal.com]

Aww...

::hugs Clark::

[elli.livejournal.com]

and lex!!!

[in-the-bottle.livejournal.com]

That's a given. ;)

[elli.livejournal.com]

muaaaa.

[suzvoy.livejournal.com]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[elli.livejournal.com]

soooooowyyyyyyyy......

[ihateidoits.livejournal.com]

Believe it or not, this actually made that episode better for me.

But, damn it, go Clark and make it better!

[elli.livejournal.com]

Yeah!! clark needs a kick in his aassss!!!
Thank you :) and maybe there will be a sequel..no promises though.