Coda to Bound.
It's my way of dealing. *g*

Thanks to fromward for the wonderful beta.

Clark, and Clex implied. Rated PG-13.



Confined

Sometimes he just wishes he could fight his genes. Pride is such an evil thing. It’s making him pace around his room like a caged animal. And this room, it's so small. It’s getting tiny and tinier, the walls closing in on him.

*Breathe, Clark.*

He tries telling himself, ordering himself, but he can't stop. Tears are streaming down his face and he's shaking, slowly sliding down the wall, his knees moving up to meet his chin.

*Just get up and go there.*

He's angry. Too angry to even move. Ashamed. Too ashamed to apologize. But most of all, he's too scared. Too scared of the implications of what he's feeling.

*Just get up.*

The door opens with a creak. "Clark? Are you alright?"

"Just leave me alone, mom," he mumbles and draws in a shuddered breath.

"Clark, you're crying. There's obviously something wrong."

"Just leave, please."

But she doesn't. Far from it. Martha Kent enters the room and sits down right next to him. How she can actually find a space in this small room is beyond him.

She reaches out.

He moves away from her touch.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"This anger, it's a Kryptonian thing right?"

"What are you talking about?" she reaches out again.

"Don't touch me, please."

"Clark..."

"I did something. And I don't think I can fix it."

"What happened?"

"It's ..." He stops to compose himself, stiffening. "I didn't even listen to him, or hear him. I just realized what he actually said."

"Is it Lex?" Martha tries.

"He never told me about all these women. It hurt. And I was …"

Martha is the one who says it. "Jealous."

"He said he's lonely, so lonely that he thinks of killing himself."

"Oh, Clark." This time, his mom wraps her arms around him and he lets it happen.

"I didn't listen. I just left!"

"You can still go to him and apologize. You can mend things. I think he's worthy of your trust and love," she says.

He shakes his head. "I can't."

"Don't worry, Clark, it will all seem better tomorrow." With that, his mother gets up and leaves the room. She probably knows there's not much use in trying to interfere more now.

The tears have disippated by now, but the numbness remains. He wishes he could make that first step.

So alone. He knows what it feels like.