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Entry tags:
SV Fic: Versions of Hell, Clex
Versions of hell
Summary: Hell was cold...
Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elsmoka for audiencing and beta-reading and to formward from posting a really crappy pwp and never being happy with it. so I'm goign with the original idea that was answer to both the Apocalypse prompt and the warmth prompt and am taking more time... I hope svmadlyn doesn't kill me.
This is also foroxoniensis, violetsmiles and for me new flisties :) Make me continue!!!!
So this was death. It felt more pleasant than it should. Nothing of the searing heat one would expect. No smoke and no demons from hell. And he knew quite well that he should be in hell. Because hell wasn't intelligent and hell would never understand. Hell didn't believe in the things he believed in. Hell was just as easy to manipulate as the next man.
He'd done what he'd set out to do. What did it matter if the rest had gone down with him, too. It was their own fault. He had warned them and they had believed it and now they paid the consequences. At least the alien was now doomed to travel this universe alone forever and he had finally saved his home. Destroyed it, yes, but saved it too.
God, he was freezing, a cold that went straight to his bones. Still he felt really dry everywhere. Especially in his mouth.
Hell was cold.
Way too cold for him.
But maybe the light that tried to creep into his eyes meant that this wasn't hell at all. Maybe someone finally understood what he'd set out to do. Maybe he was right after all. He decided then and there to open his eyes. No good ever came from being unguarded, from not knowing and assessing his surroundings, hell or otherwise. He hated surprises.
For a few split seconds, all he saw was colour. Caught in a big rainbow. Then his eyes adjusted to the bright light and the shimmering blue-white crystals became visible. The room was round and approximately 100 meters in diameter. It was made of small crystals which met at least 120 meters above his head. He was standing in a huge cupola. Like an oblation waiting to be sacrificed for the good of people. Maybe he was on trial. Trial was cold.
A sadist had stolen his shoes.
And his socks. All he was wearing was his business suit. Black pants, Armani jacket and shirt and a hand tailored tie. Immaculate as always. Except he was missing his shoes and socks. Taking his bald head into account, he was had no way of warming up..
Trying to assess his options, he walked to one side of the wall. If he could just find an exit, maybe he could find out where he was. Information was everything. He traced the crystals. They didn't feel as he would have expected. There seemed to be no cut, no marks and no wrong shapes as he touched the surface. As if they had been shaped by the hand of a sentient being. Manufactured to fit these walls. He took a long time to circle the cupola, growing colder with every step he took. His feet were freezing.
A noise behind him suddenly made him whip around. At the far end of the room, where he started his journey, he could see his shoes. Behind him, casually leaning against the wall, was the alien.
ps: I am open to constructive critisism :) Fromward said I'm going too fast and I'm not sure what to do about that.
Summary: Hell was cold...
Thanks to
elsmoka for audiencing and beta-reading and to formward from posting a really crappy pwp and never being happy with it. so I'm goign with the original idea that was answer to both the Apocalypse prompt and the warmth prompt and am taking more time... I hope svmadlyn doesn't kill me.This is also for
oxoniensis, violetsmiles and for me new flisties :) Make me continue!!!!So this was death. It felt more pleasant than it should. Nothing of the searing heat one would expect. No smoke and no demons from hell. And he knew quite well that he should be in hell. Because hell wasn't intelligent and hell would never understand. Hell didn't believe in the things he believed in. Hell was just as easy to manipulate as the next man.
He'd done what he'd set out to do. What did it matter if the rest had gone down with him, too. It was their own fault. He had warned them and they had believed it and now they paid the consequences. At least the alien was now doomed to travel this universe alone forever and he had finally saved his home. Destroyed it, yes, but saved it too.
God, he was freezing, a cold that went straight to his bones. Still he felt really dry everywhere. Especially in his mouth.
Hell was cold.
Way too cold for him.
But maybe the light that tried to creep into his eyes meant that this wasn't hell at all. Maybe someone finally understood what he'd set out to do. Maybe he was right after all. He decided then and there to open his eyes. No good ever came from being unguarded, from not knowing and assessing his surroundings, hell or otherwise. He hated surprises.
For a few split seconds, all he saw was colour. Caught in a big rainbow. Then his eyes adjusted to the bright light and the shimmering blue-white crystals became visible. The room was round and approximately 100 meters in diameter. It was made of small crystals which met at least 120 meters above his head. He was standing in a huge cupola. Like an oblation waiting to be sacrificed for the good of people. Maybe he was on trial. Trial was cold.
A sadist had stolen his shoes.
And his socks. All he was wearing was his business suit. Black pants, Armani jacket and shirt and a hand tailored tie. Immaculate as always. Except he was missing his shoes and socks. Taking his bald head into account, he was had no way of warming up..
Trying to assess his options, he walked to one side of the wall. If he could just find an exit, maybe he could find out where he was. Information was everything. He traced the crystals. They didn't feel as he would have expected. There seemed to be no cut, no marks and no wrong shapes as he touched the surface. As if they had been shaped by the hand of a sentient being. Manufactured to fit these walls. He took a long time to circle the cupola, growing colder with every step he took. His feet were freezing.
A noise behind him suddenly made him whip around. At the far end of the room, where he started his journey, he could see his shoes. Behind him, casually leaning against the wall, was the alien.
ps: I am open to constructive critisism :) Fromward said I'm going too fast and I'm not sure what to do about that.
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Now. Bed. Must. Go.
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Glad to see you writing!
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Seriously: I liked the sentiment you created with your sentences. It's cold and dark... really good. I could almost see it infront of my inner eye. :)
A sadist had stolen his shoes.
Barefeet??? And I'm not even a footperson. *lol* But that's a really good idea.
Keep on writing. I liked the beginning and I'm looking for more.
*hands some flowers*
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Love this line. It's interesting that Lex thinks of himself as a savior, in a way, but still thinks he deserves to be in hell.
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As for moving too fast, I don't think that you are. It's almost like an intro. A very cliffhangy! intro. As long as the next part(s) go into more detail (which it seems like that's what you're aiming at doing) then the pace is fine in my eyes.
And you're writing is incredible. A true sense of of the english language. I too feel like I need major brushing up after reading this!
Keep up the great work! I can't wait for the next part.
...Translation: Hurry Up!!!!